KSWA Part III

Thus begins the final installment of my KSWA series (Part I and II). I've probably beaten this to death, but I have a few more good pics and some information on the next event for all those readers who may now be Jones'n for some KSWA.

The next match was between some guy in a pink shirt and knickers against the most bad-ass dude in the whole event (and VIP member):
This guy (didn't catch his name) had an icy stare that put Brooks Orpik to shame. He was also the only character who actually looked like a wrestler in the sense that he was jacked. He won the match with ease; the more I think about it, the more it seemed like the "bad guys" won the majority of the matches.
I almost forgot about his two-tone pants... impressive. Here's another pic of Frank Durso strutting around the ring in anticipation of his match against the Venetian HOFer from earlier; just remember that odds are this guy is somebody's Grandpa:
The little girl in front was obviously not impressed. I was really hoping Durso would fling his jacket into the crowd, but it never happened. Durso ended up losing his match, which made me sad, but you can't have the Venetian guy lose his match on the night he's inducted in the KSWA Hall of Fame.

Next up was the final match between the Latin Assassin (good) and Dr. Destruction (bad) with the winner crowned champion of The Third Annual Joe Abbey Tournament. I was torn on who to root for; the LA was kind enough to take a picture with me during intermission, but Dr. D was the better character (Sheet Up!) and he hailed from the North Side (the neighborhood in which I was born and raised). It was like if Pitt played CofC; I guess I'd just hope for a good match. Dr. D came out brandishing a wooden bat...
... but despite the fiction rule of thumb (if you show a gun on the first page, it has to be used by the end of the story), the referee took the bat away from him. These kids behind me were not big fans of Dr. D:
That was at about 10:30 at night, twelve Pepsis, and eight bags of sour patch kids; these kids were jacked up. The match was unraveling like any other: close pins, lot of body slamming, dragging out slowly. That was until they rolled off the ring and started using the chairs as weapons. First, Dr. D slammed one on the LA's back as he was trying to get up off the floor:
Then the LA returned the favor just a minute later... twice. This was definitely the best part of all the action, as they did not take it easy on each other; these were real aluminum chairs that people had been sitting on and they used them like sledgehammers. The Latin Assassin then rolled Dr. D up into the ring and pinned him to win the tournament:
There was much rejoicing in the streets.

As with any long post, it starts out with a bang and ends with a whimper. But hopefully I may have whet your appetite for some local fake wrestling. The next event is Mayhem at the Moose, which takes place the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. Tickets are $10 for adults, which is twice as much as I paid on Saturday, so you know it's gonna' be twice as good. The main event for Mayhem is going to be an "I Quit" match between The Latin Assassin and The Enforcer (who I think was the huge dude with the two-tone pants). Somebody is going to step out of that ring and never return... I'll see yinz there.

KSWA Part II

If you missed KSWA Part I, go check it out or else you won't really understand any of this.
That's a picture of Dr. Destruction stomping on Kris Kash (who was wearing some ridiculous looking Gothic/Cargo/High-Water/Capri pants). Notice Dr. D wearing the VIP tee-shirt; I wasn't able to find one for sale, but if anybody is wondering what to get me for half-Christmas... This is the back:
Live The Legend, tactfully decorated with a beer mug and the silhouette of a stripper working the pole. All in the name of family entertainment. I believe Dr. D is bowing to those kids in the front row who were probably booing him. Sheet Up! The next match was between some guy who was showing not an inch of skin, but was supposed to have some sort of Asian shtick going on (my guess; some Italian guy form Morningside). The highlight were his jorts, which caused many of the Hipsters behind us to chant, "Kick him in the JNCO's."
His opponent: The King.
This guy was awesome; nobody liked him, he was the champion of something (see: belt), and was serenaded with chants of "Burger King!" as he lapped it up. But the best was his introduction from the announcer, "He looks down on all of Millvale from his Castle in the hills." I shit you not. Think about that statement for a second. I don't mean to be a Pittsburgh elitist, but if he were looking down upon Millvale (which in itself is a classically named Pittsburgh borough), you'd probably be somewhere in Shaler. Pretty sure there aren't any castles in Shaler. You would think they would really go all out and pick a more appropriate class divided upper/lower area (Fox Chapel/Blawnox, Sewickley Heights/Ambridge), but to no surprise, this statement drew a veracious round of boos from the crowd; definitely a few Millvale residents in attendance who don't take kindly to being looked down upon. The King definitely won this match, as I have a picture of him walking off with his belt still raised high:
After this match was the second leg of the tournament, whose winner would move on to face Dr. D in the final. It was between probably the most disturbing character in the entire event, "He's not crazy; he's Justin Sane," quite the play on words. Justin Sane wore a woman's dress with some sort of Hannibal Lecter-like mask and he was balding terribly:
Yes, that is Justin Sane exchanging pleasantries with the kids surrounding the ring (despite his costume, Justin was a real sweet-heart). In the background, you can see the PA in the ring. He was really into his job, which as a former public announcer myself, I can respect. But he looked like Philip Seymour Hoffman dressed in his Dad's clothes. Other than that, hell of a job by him. Justin Sane faced off against the Latin Assassin who's beside me in the title picture of Part I, but just for good measure, here's an action shot:
The LA was a big boy, had some nice tattoos, hailed from the Bronx, and came out to some catchy reggaeton. He was also a clear crowd favorite. He beat Justin Sane in fairly boring match. Following the match they had a minor intermission, after which they had a ceremony in which they inducted two new members into the KSWA Hall-of-Fame. It was a stirring moment:
I don't remember this guy's name, but it was really Italian (he was born in Venice). The best part about it was how he accepted the award... in uniform. Of course this was due to him taking on Frank Durso later in the evening, which we will get to in Part III tomorrow.