Tuesday, March 30, 2010


If you missed KSWA Part I, go check it out or else you won't really understand any of this.
That's a picture of Dr. Destruction stomping on Kris Kash (who was wearing some ridiculous looking Gothic/Cargo/High-Water/Capri pants). Notice Dr. D wearing the VIP tee-shirt; I wasn't able to find one for sale, but if anybody is wondering what to get me for half-Christmas... This is the back:
Live The Legend, tactfully decorated with a beer mug and the silhouette of a stripper working the pole. All in the name of family entertainment. I believe Dr. D is bowing to those kids in the front row who were probably booing him. Sheet Up! The next match was between some guy who was showing not an inch of skin, but was supposed to have some sort of Asian shtick going on (my guess; some Italian guy form Morningside). The highlight were his jorts, which caused many of the Hipsters behind us to chant, "Kick him in the JNCO's."
His opponent: The King.
This guy was awesome; nobody liked him, he was the champion of something (see: belt), and was serenaded with chants of "Burger King!" as he lapped it up. But the best was his introduction from the announcer, "He looks down on all of Millvale from his Castle in the hills." I shit you not. Think about that statement for a second. I don't mean to be a Pittsburgh elitist, but if he were looking down upon Millvale (which in itself is a classically named Pittsburgh borough), you'd probably be somewhere in Shaler. Pretty sure there aren't any castles in Shaler. You would think they would really go all out and pick a more appropriate class divided upper/lower area (Fox Chapel/Blawnox, Sewickley Heights/Ambridge), but to no surprise, this statement drew a veracious round of boos from the crowd; definitely a few Millvale residents in attendance who don't take kindly to being looked down upon. The King definitely won this match, as I have a picture of him walking off with his belt still raised high:
After this match was the second leg of the tournament, whose winner would move on to face Dr. D in the final. It was between probably the most disturbing character in the entire event, "He's not crazy; he's Justin Sane," quite the play on words. Justin Sane wore a woman's dress with some sort of Hannibal Lecter-like mask and he was balding terribly:
Yes, that is Justin Sane exchanging pleasantries with the kids surrounding the ring (despite his costume, Justin was a real sweet-heart). In the background, you can see the PA in the ring. He was really into his job, which as a former public announcer myself, I can respect. But he looked like Philip Seymour Hoffman dressed in his Dad's clothes. Other than that, hell of a job by him. Justin Sane faced off against the Latin Assassin who's beside me in the title picture of Part I, but just for good measure, here's an action shot:
The LA was a big boy, had some nice tattoos, hailed from the Bronx, and came out to some catchy reggaeton. He was also a clear crowd favorite. He beat Justin Sane in fairly boring match. Following the match they had a minor intermission, after which they had a ceremony in which they inducted two new members into the KSWA Hall-of-Fame. It was a stirring moment:
I don't remember this guy's name, but it was really Italian (he was born in Venice). The best part about it was how he accepted the award... in uniform. Of course this was due to him taking on Frank Durso later in the evening, which we will get to in Part III tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. Maxwell.C,

    Thanks for the three part write up on the past KSWA event. Our fans are very important to us because without them we would not be able to do what we love. I am glad to see you had a good time at your first KSWA event. Our next event is on Saturday, May 1st at the Lawrenceville Moose, 120 51st St., Pittsburgh, PA 15201. Bell time is at 7:30PM. Tickets are $10 for Adults and $8 for Kids. If you or any of your readers would like more information on the KSWA you can find us at www.kswa.net. Thanks again.

    Willi Plett